An alumna of a leadership program I once led called yesterday. She wanted to share how an experience in the program paid off years later. She remarked how one particular experience left her feeling unsettled. It’s a feeling common in growth-oriented programs. However, a recent life circumstance prompted her recall of that moment; it now provided comfort, leaving her feeling better equipped to deal with the situation at hand. We don’t know how the discomfort of today may be preparing us for a better tomorrow. That’s the funny thing about true growth – it usually involves some level of discomfort and time before the aha moment arrives. However, for the folks I’ve talked to recently, that unsettled feeling eventually morphed into clarity, as well as a positive change in their lives and the lives of those around them. It’s a reminder, now more than ever, not to judge the experiences of today too harshly. Or assume they automatically have no value because they don’t mesh with the world as we’d like to see it.
A few tips to surf the wave of discomfort:
1. Realize it won’t last forever – Change is constant. Today is different than yesterday which will be different from tomorrow.
2. Ask curious questions –
How might I need this experience in the future?
What might I be able to take away that’s of value?
What might I be missing if I automatically dismiss this experience?
If the answer, in the moment, is “nothing,” file it away. That’s ok. You might be surprised down the road how that experience comes back as an aha moment.
3. Get perspective – Share the experience with a trusted friend, family member, or colleague. You don’t have to carry the weight of an uncomfortable moment alone.
Growth isn’t always easy, but the payoff is well worth the investment.