As we head into the holiday season, thoughts turn to all the yummy food it brings. Yet, in conversations with leaders, I’m hearing about cravings deeper than pumpkin pie and Grandma’s stuffing.
An accomplished and competent leader recently said to me laughingly, “I’m not sure I even know how to lead anymore.” She’s not alone.
The past 20 months have been surreal, to put it mildly. The constant churn of change is uncomfortable; it ignites cravings and prompts the search for things to soothe the discomfort.
Fortunately, there are ways to identify and satisfy those cravings without raiding the refrigerator.
Thought: “Everything feels off-kilter. I don’t know which end is up anymore.”
Craving: Stability and a sense of groundedness
How to Satisfy It:
- Anchor yourself in the familiar – Not everything has changed. Something in your work or life stayed consistent. Maybe it’s a favorite person or treasured item. Maybe it’s your talent for getting results, connecting with people, nurturing a team, or analyzing information. It might be a special place or landmark. Whatever it is … spend more time with it.
- Cut yourself some slack – News flash: You have survived 100% of the situations thrown your way so far. Somehow you’ve figured things out before. Accept that this is hard but stand firm in the knowledge that you are resourceful and persistent. And breathe.
Thought: “I’m the only one having a hard time. Everyone else is nailing it.”
Craving: Reassurance and Connection
How to Satisfy It:
- Do a reality check – Here, let me help. I spend most of my days talking with people and keeping up with the latest in the world of work. I haven’t come across anyone yet who’s not challenged in some way right now. You are not alone.
- Pick up the phone or send an email – Check in with an old friend or colleague. Or introduce yourself to a new one. Chances are they will welcome the gesture. Answer honestly when they ask, “How are you?” You don’t have to go into dramatic detail. You might be pleasantly surprised at the conversation that results. P.S. Don’t take it personally if you don’t hear back promptly (or at all). There are a gazillion reasons why someone doesn’t respond. Just move on to someone else on your list.
Thought: I don’t know how to do this
Craving: Support and resources
How to satisfy it:
- Ask for help – Did you just cringe? Do it anyway. I recently summoned the courage to ask a more established coach for help. She gladly gave her perspective. In fact, she said I inspired her to do the same. Do it. Start a chain reaction of helpful conversations. Let me know how it turns out.
- Tap into helpful resources – There is no shortage of articles, books, podcasts, courses, or coaches on whatever challenge you might be facing in your work life. From two-minute reads to months-long deep dives. Google and LinkedIn are great places to start. I’m here to help, too. They don’t call me the “human card catalog” for nothing. Information is my way of grounding (see the first craving above).
Now that you’re prepared to satisfy some not-so-helpful cravings, feel free to treat yourself to some pumpkin pie or Grandma’s stuffing.